Oi! Dont stalk me la bitch. HAHAHAHAHHAH!
This is not the kind of holiday that I want. Just one day, just one day I wish that my whole family can come together and then have a blast. I know that my parents are busy working for our family but is it really that hard to take a day off for the family? Today is a public holiday, Labour's Day. Today should be a day that my dad should have a holiday. But no, he went to work. My mum, today she was at home for like half day? Then she went work again. My brother? He is now and then losing his temper on me and my sister. What wrong did I do? My sister, she is starting to not listen to me. Yeah. I guess I'm the most useless in my house. How funny that I'm the oldest child and was being set aside like a maid, outcast, useless, trash. How funny. I'm so tired. Biased? My grandparents are always favoring towards my other siblings. "Did you eat?" my grandpa asked my brother for the umpteen. My brother keep saying no. "Do you want to eat instant noodles? I'll cook for you." my grandpa asked my brother again for the most umpteen time. My brother rejected again. "Did you eat yet?" my grandpa asked me. I was happy for a moment. I said no. And he never came back to ask me again. How stupid am I to bring my hopes up and then crush them down by my own idiotness. All I wanted is for my family to pay more attention to what I do, what I say, what I act. Comfort me when I'm sad, laugh with me when I'm happy, praise me when I do something proud. But it all seem so far. When I do something, it's always nothing. When my siblings do just a little bit, they will be praised very well. When I do something wrong, I will be scolded very badly and they will keep making me feel very bad, when my siblings do something wrong, they will scolded a little and let go. When I voice out my opinions, it will always be ignored. Nothing I do is significant. Nothing. When it's not my fault, it will some how become my fault. I help my family to get out of situation, but in the end, I got scolded. Why? Because i saved them from my cousin, I scolded him. Yeah. I'm wrong again. If its not for me, they would still be stuck in the situation. No one dare to step up, so I became the bad guy and step up. Yeah, I settled the problem but end up what? I got scolded. They said I was too harsh. I was too fierce. I was too daring. I should act as a girl, not like a hooligan who go around bullying people. If only I knew that this would happen, I wouldnt have done it. Why be the bad guy when you can actually live in peace and not care about what they do? Because I don't want to see my family being bullied. But I guess in the end it's still my fault. Everyone say that after a lot of heartache, you will feel numb, but why after so much heartache I felt, I still can feel the pain? It hurt so much that I always will end up crying, it's so painful. Every thought will make me cry. Even now, I'm still crying. I always act strong and act as if nothing is wrong, always the happy-go-lucky girl they see me as. But they don't know the real me, who I really am. I don't like to act but if I don't, then everyone will start to think I'm an weirdo, a person that is a attention-seeker, a useless person. My parent may think that their daughter is a very strong person, she can handle everything by herself, and so they never really help me, but sometimes, who don't want to be the baby that everyone's attention is at? I want them to know what I'm doing, praise me, comfort me. When I'm younger, I wish that I can faster grow up, but now, I regretted that I wish for that, everything is so different from what I think when I'm younger, the world is so cruel, evil, cold, scary. When I'm scared, I have no one to be there with me. I'm all alone. So alone that I can actually feel like dying. Everytime when I'm left out, I can hear my own heart shattering into million pieces. My heart had shattered for don't know how many times, sometime, I even wish that we have no heart, so we can't feel pain, so that we can't feel love, because love is always the one that make us feel pain. Trust? I never gonna trust anyone easily anymore, I had enough of being cheated, friends, family. Slowly, one by one, they are lying to me, betraying me. Everytime when it happen, it's always killing my slowly, like they are using a knife, slowly cutting my heart, it hurts so much. I want to forget about all this. All I ever wanted was a family that can love me, a friend that knows me. I'm not asking for too much, am I? Really, stop this before I go crazy.

상심이, 내가 죽어가는 기분이 너무 많이 아파요
Hey hey hey! Haha! Before I start rambling today, I wanna ask you guys, if your friend betray you, what will you do?

Well, for me, I have been betray way many times. People might think that I will be numb but it's like theres still the pain over there what!

Pain pain pain. It's the feeling that you will feel when the one you thought is your best friend, betray you. It sucks lot. So never never betray others, you will never know what pain that person is going through. I have once been so sad, I cut myself. Yeah, it's foolish. Haha. So I don't do that anymore. So now whatever problem I have, just let it all out and then forget it! Jiayous! :)

Haha! Shall stop here! I'm tired.. Nights! :)

현실은 비참하게, 아파
Hello people! Haha! Today, was pretty normal. :/ haha!

This few day, I'm more active in twitter than Facebook! Haha! Follow me and I'll follow you back! :) follow me at @QianPingLoveGD ! Thanks! :)

I saw many people trying to make more people follow them by tweeting to famous tweeter to help them. I was like seriously? Even if you ask God to help you also no use lorh! You still need us people to click that freaking follow button next to your name! -.- lame much? LOL.

LOL. I old le. Feel very tired now. Sorry for my ranting! Haha! Goodnight!

용서하고 잊어은이 상황에서 할 수있는 가장 좋은 일이 될거예요. 그것에 너무 연연하지는 않습니다. 미래가 아닌 과거로 봐. 어제를위한 내일도를 위해 살고 있습니다
Hey guys! Okay. I have just step down from my CCA! That just make me feel that I'm a senior more! Hahha! I really appreciate what my juniors have done for me! They have written cards, bake cookies, dance, did videos and put super lot of unglam photos! Haha! But it's very nice and sweet of them!

3 years and after this year, 4 years. This CCA have let me feel happy, sad, anger. I have shed tears, laugh, joke with my fellow guides and juniors, seniors. My step down day and my junior prepared a lot for me and my Sec 4 guides babe! I really felt very touched although I didn't cry! When I officially step down, realization then hit me straight in the face. It reminds me that my major exams are coming and I should start preparing if I wanna get good results.

We cried, we laugh and it's time to move on. I hope that my juniors will do well and continue to let Damai guides be proud!

We will try to go back often and maybe to the annual camp. Just hope that some bitch will let me go. And of course my guides babe who are taking their 'O's this year! Hope that they will do well! Let work hard together!

당신이 다시 한번 인사 해야지 결코하지 않는 이별은 슬픈 없습니다.


Hi! I didn't really update like I have promised hahaha! But please~ who kept their promises so well these few days? Definitely not me. :) okay~ out of point. I just celebrated my birthday! Yay!!! I'm 16 now~ :) it's late now do in just gonna update a little bit. If tmr can on my comp then MAYBE I'll update! :) nights!

내게 거짓말을 했어. 난 다시 당신을 믿어요해야할지 말아야할지 몰라요. 매우 상처가 바보처럼 취급될 수 있습니다. 일단 물릴 때, 두 번 수줍어, 세 번 바보입니다
Hey people! Hahas. I have been working! >.< super tired! :/

I've been writing Fanfics on Asianfanfics.com! My name is GDsLurverz! Go take a look! Like it? Comment and subscribe!

This year is a hectic year for BIG BANG Oppa-dul. From Daesung Oppa car accident case to Baby GD Oppa Marijuana case. Thank god that they are all back. I was actually quite surprised to see Baby GD Oppa in the YGFamily Concert. Because of his case, I thought he won't be there. When I see him there in the fancams, I cried. May sound stupid, but true. That's just how much I love him. Oppa! Himnae! 사랑해!

Hahas! Please remember to support me at AsianFanfics.com! Support my stories! Good or bad, comment and subscribe! Thanks!

Love you guys! :)

잊혀진 당신이 내게 그러지 않겠다고 약속되는 그 단어. 하지만, 당신이 해냈어요. 난 니가 싫어. 아니, 나는 어차피 자신이 당신을 미워 데리고. 사랑해. 내 아픈 사랑..